Time is our most valuable possession. It can’t be earned, achieved, or claimed. It just is. We choose in every moment how to use this finite resource. And how we spend our time is a strong indicator of what we prioritize and value.

Astrology is and can be a measurement of time, the cycle of the Cosmos, and the blueprint of this finite experience. It’s a beautiful map that I love to study and translate — like a language or a piece of music. But it’s not meant to be absolute. It’s not meant to take you out of the present moment, or to micromanage time, predictions, and outcomes. I have witnessed this tendency in myself to want to control time through astrology, to “crack the code” of the future and the events of my life and the collective. While astrological predictions can be very accurate, they don’t change anything except to take us out of the present moment. Astrology is meant to empower you; it’s not meant to have power over you.

So I asked myself some time ago: am I experiencing my life? Or am I trying to control it?

Every day can be an important day, a portal of opportunity, a chance for growth and transformation. Most people have no idea what the planets are doing and are perfectly fine. But if we give all of our energy to something, like a “Pluto return” (which you won’t personally experience unless you live to be over 250 years) or astrology apps that are designed to hook you, then we can create a reality, an energy, or a “portal” that may not have existed before.

Again: These tools are meant to empower, not to create fear, stress, or addiction.

I love astrology. I love connecting people with their charts. I love to watch the movement of stars and planets. I had so much fun last year watching Jupiter and Saturn come together, and then geeking out on the night sky on 8/8 when the earth had an actual portal directly in between these two planets. I love to witness and feel the cycles and placements of the moon, because it’s a part of the earth and we feel it on a very physical level. But I don’t feel the need to know what my chart is doing every day, or if some abstract moment in time is experiencing a major transit. And I don’t see any value in stressing about the transformational aspects everyone experiences as they approach a certain age. (Honestly I barely even care about or remember my own age.) My only concern — in this moment in time — is the reality and energy of THIS moment.

When Saturn (the ruler of time and astrology) speaks to me now, he tells me that we can spend our entire lives trying to control time, only to realize that we wasted it. To master any energy, we cease to let it have power over us.

We can micromanage life, or we can simply enjoy it.

I am the daughter of sun and fire. Born on the longest day of the year in the North where the sun never set. It’s difficult for me to rise before the sun. It’s nearly impossible to be productive after it fades to dark. Even my golden hair becomes murky auburn in the darker months and my eyes fade to a seafoam gray. There’s a mute coldness in my belly and inspiration comes in quiet waves. Winter is hard.

And yet, the roots of my pagan ancestors stir me to enchantment even in the coldest months. From the ancient Norse year to the Celtic sabbats to the shores of Avalon and the great wheel of the Cosmos. The medicine found in nature can still take my breath away — in crusty melting snow, dried branches, and colorless skies. Because I know there’s a time for fire and a time for dreams. A time for action and a time for rest. Winter’s last breath is the stirring within the cocoon that makes me shiver with anticipation. I can only imagine the beauty of the emergence when it comes.

And now, in Pisces season, the last month of winter, we see the melting ice flow to streams and waterfalls, rainbows in the freezing dew, pockets of rain and snow in all moods and temperatures. Hope, despair, grief, and joy ebb and flow like the changing waters and impatient clouds. I become sleepy, because Dreamtime beckons and my body aches to prepare. The fire grows brighter — from a flickering candle flame to a steady warmth. Flowing water, cool air, and softening earth give me permission to heal. To watch and wait.

Here, now — slowly awakening in the cocoon to breathe the last of winter’s breaths.

And so we connect with the element of air and the cold winds of winter, breathing and receiving the awakened breath for clear vision and expanded possibility. May the air keep us alert, aware, and present — so that we receive the wisdom of living in alignment with the ever-changing breeze and the messages that guide us to evolve in love.

As the air arrives from the east, it alights the fires of the south within — the passion and purpose that fuels creation. May the growing sun give us light and sustenance for the days ahead as it stirs and awakens the lifeblood of body and spirit. Let us gather together to warm our hearts by Brigid’s hearth, allowing hope to transform inspiration into manifestation. And with the fires of life, we remember. Everything we need is within.

Healing arrives from the west in the silent snows that blanket the earth, crystalline water of full-spectrum light, and the eventual melting of ice into streams and waterfalls. The waters nourish our emotional landscape, dissolving hard edges and pain into generosity, gratitude, and true affection. Water, thank you for teaching us how to be in the flow of love and to recognize the other as they are, beyond our perceptions of self — and to love every wave, ripple, and direction as an individual miracle in the totality of the ocean.

And with these seeds, we lovingly root into the nurturing soil of the mother in the north. Earth, thank you for providing everything we need to heal and create magic from your life-giving grid. With your guidance, we remember the sacred rhythm of giving and receiving — and as we heal from the earth, it heals from us. Thank you for allowing us to be part of this living and breathing biome of creation, and we trust that with your love our seeds will root, grow, and blossom into the beauty and love that is our divine purpose.

And so it is.

Feeling exhausted? Like you’re in a rut and things aren’t going anywhere? Confused about your direction and purpose? Unmotivated? Isolating from the world? It’s not you, it’s not the world, it’s not the planets. It’s your nervous system. It’s the tricky way that fear, anxiety, and present-moment hijacking take its toll on your well-being.

When you’re tuned into yourSELF and are optimistic about your goals and the future, the opposite happens. You feel energized, happy, excited about long-term plans, connected to your gifts, connected to other humans, present in your body. I have read a lot of books, and trust me, there has never been a moment in history where it didn’t feel like the world was ending. It’s just that now we are bombarded with the information constantly through multiple channels, and from businesses that profit from our addiction to fear. So what is a modern human to do?

Tune into your own channel. Your higher mind is a universe in itself that is constantly broadcasting information and guidance 24/7. But most of us are too distracted and stimulated to listen. The information comes barreling in at 3 a.m. when we’re finally quiet. 😂 But if you take time in the internal space to listen during the day — free from distraction — you’ll find an infinite supply of ideas, hopeful messages, support, and love.

Connect to what’s real: nature, community, motivating content, other humans. It might not seem like people are accessible via social media, but in *real* life people are still loving, supportive, and want the best for you. Even in our online yoga sanghas, we can see each other’s faces and send our love. I have started to notice that almost everyone in yoga class leaves their Zoom cameras on now. 😍

Nature, the real breathing biome that supports our existence, only wants us to thrive. When we thrive, nature thrives. When you go outside and hug a tree, that tree has nothing but love. Its energy is directed towards feeding the planet. The earth benefits from our health and well-being, so when you align your energy with nature, you are aligning with LIFE.

Daily routines, daily habits, daily sadhana: Sadhana is one powerful way I show the universe that my well-being is a priority. (And when you show the universe that YOU are your priority, it matches that vibration and gives you more of it.) My daily and weekly spiritual practices are non-negotiable. Connecting with my body is a must. Sadhana is your devotion to YOU. This is your anchor to love. For me, yoga is how I connect. For you, it might be something different. But the key is that it’s FOR YOU.

LOVE YOUR BODY. Move, embrace yourself, thank your body, appreciate its incredible work. Even when you’re not feeling well. Even when your nervous system is firing on all cylinders. Even when your muscles are sore. This is just your body doing its job. It’s amazing. I wonder what would happen if we set an alarm and just said “thank you” to our bodies once per day. How would the body respond? How would things shift? Our physical vessel (the body) is a reflection of our mental and emotional state.

Remember that you are the creator of your experience. My favorite books are about remote locations, survival, and overcoming perceived odds. It expands my field of possibility to read about people thriving with nothing but the natural world. It’s a reminder that even when you think you have nothing, you may actually have your ideal life all around you. You can also have it all and be unhappy. Everything is perspective. Everything is a reflection of what you create. And every moment is an opportunity to experience bliss.

Let go of the spell that you need anything outside of yourself to live your dream life. I’ve been in that trap before: wanting to create but believing I need something else for it to happen.

My greatest manifestations and creations often began with nothing. And when I have a dream — a goal — there are a few ways I’ve learned to test myself.

Am I willing to try it with the resources I have now? If not, is it because I don’t actually want it bad enough? Or is it because I don’t think I am enough or have enough? Because no amount of attainment or preparation is going to change those mindsets. If I’m not willing to do it now, I’ll never be willing unless I address my perceived self-worth and ask the difficult questions. Earlier this year I thought I needed a certain studio space to launch some new ideas and services. When the space seemed perpetually unavailable, I launched those services anyways and made it work. Then, like magic, the space became available at a crazy low price, and I no longer wanted it. Because I already have everything I need... I was just making excuses.

Do I feel comfortable speaking/sharing the dream with others? If not, is it because I don’t believe it will happen? Or I don’t actually want it? The phrase “I don’t want to jinx it” is affirming the belief in potential failure. If it doesn’t work out exactly like you imagine or you change your mind, that doesn’t mean it won’t happen. If you’re worried about what other people think about your work or ideas, then you’re not really doing it for you. Speak your dreams and show the universe that you believe in yourself.

What is my core reason for wanting this? Can I attain that core need in other ways? Earlier this year I thought I wanted to finish up my master’s degree, when really I just wanted an “acceptable” excuse to set aside time for myself to explore new information and interests. (I can do that without enrolling in formal structured education, which I never enjoyed.) So after I did the work to get accepted into the program and transfer credits, I changed my mind. And I felt zero shame or failure about walking away from a degree (again). In fact, I was damn proud of myself.

Let go of the attachment that your dream needs to look a certain way. Do it because it’s what you love. Let it take whatever form and structure naturally unfolds. Do it for you, and do it now. There’s always a way if you want it badly enough.

My daily morning writing has been an integral part of my life for years. The troves of my subconscious are written in cursive all over these books. Pain, hope, contemplation, channeled messages, random thoughts, doubts, insecurities, hard knots of strength and perseverance, powerful lessons and moments of truth.

And today, on Samhain 2021, I am going to burn them all. 🐉🔥

I’ve been looking forward to this day for months since I made the decision. There’s no reason to hang onto them. I’m not narcissistic enough to imagine that my morning musings will someday be discovered after my death like the lost gospels of Thomas, or that my life’s work is somehow nestled like a jewel in my scribbled mind dumps. Nor do I have any desire to thumb through the pages of my past as if my past self has somehow achieved enlightenment over the same patterns I replay over and over.

I certainly used to do that. Contemplating the past like a hidden key to what I’m feeling now, instead of feeling the moment as it is. A clever way to escape the lessons of the present moment and resist the transformational pull of life.

Now I know why Julia Cameron advised us not to go back.

When I asked myself why certain things refused to change, I neglected to realize how I was hanging on to the past like a teething blanket. Memories, oh the memories — how can I turn my back on them? They beckon in the rush of what WAS and keep me from embracing the possibility of what, actually, IS. Now, when I find myself going back and holding on to the fantasy of the “might-have-beens,” the “if-onlys,” and the “I-did-thats,” I tell myself: now Mandi, what is actually true? What actually happened? How did it really unfold?

It’s such a gift, the truth. What some might see as difficult moments of cleansing and processing, I see as the happiest moments of my life. The freedom of seeing things how they actually are and the unlimited and undefined possibility of now. And sure, the past still exists in my programming, my human suit, patterns and behaviors — but it’s not the key I once thought it was. It can be rewritten. It’s a familiar friend that gives me the gift of awareness, but never love.

My ego told me years ago that burning my journals was a sign of my impending death. That may have intimidated me then, but not now. Death and I navigate this life together — the certainty of its eventual visitation a beckoning to experience life in its greatest magnificence. And it’s true, a part of me will die with these notebooks. But tomorrow, I will open a new one and keep on writing. All of the pages of my life — past, present, and future — unfolding in every moment of my existence.

And may the wishes and dreams written in these pages burn with the fires of creative manifestation into form and being — beginning this new chapter of a greater unfolding. And so it is. 🔥

Thanks to K.E.S. for the title inspiration.

Breathing in the element of air, the winds of change, rustling autumn leaves and shifting clouds of thought. May the air lift me from complacency and into my highest expression and sacred song — the voice of truth reverberating throughout the cosmos, love freely expressed as cool gusts remove the barriers of isolation and judgment.

Stepping into the dragon’s flames, the element of fire that burns through cords of attachment and karmic trappings, and eliminates any longing of the ego not in service to my highest good. Flames of spirit protect me from those who wish to take from me or cause me harm, from manipulations of light and darkness that attempt to bind with illusion and false promises. Let the flames of courage burn and brighten in me to fulfill my sacred service.

Plunging into the sacred chalice of water, the flow of grace that guides us into shifting seas with steadiness and love. Hold my heart in your protecting and loving embrace, with your gentleness and kind wisdom. Guide me to the seas of unconditional love, where we flow in communion with the divine grid and the frequencies of Source. When the releasing tears fall, let it be for closure and understanding — and the knowing that as cycles end, beautiful beginnings are born.

Walking on and among the stability of earth, atop sacred rock and through dense forests, on mountaintops and flowering meadows — my soles and energy grounding into the powerful presence of now. Remind me with your ancient wisdom how true love remains forever stable and unquestioning, that souls unite and separate when they are ready, and how all unfolds in alignment with the highest good. As the earth’s beauty alights in the frequency of transformation, lead me to the paths and relationships that are in alignment with love, prosperity, growth, and sacred purpose.

And so it is.

🌟

The body is not something to fear. Yes, it’s impermanent. Yes, it’s mortal. Yes, it ages. But the body is an expression of a greater power that lives within us. If we removed all of these layers of skin, flesh, muscle, and bone — what form would we take? we would be formless. we would merge with all that is both formless and formed. But here, in the body, we get to FEEL. We have senses. We can experience energy through sensation. There’s pain, yes, but also pleasure. Sometime the body gets sick, and we feel the weight and discomfort of healing and cellular reprogramming. But it knows what to do. The formless within can help create the conditions for transformation. It can guide us to tools that create optimal energy flow. And it reminds me, always, how bless we are to FEEL.

The biology of the earth is a sacred continuous dance of life and death. Death and life. The physical life-forms on earth bloom and express their nature, then fade away and release their life force as the seasons change. But they are always alive, always ETERNAL. And they choose to return again and again to express their beauty, to receive the sun’s warmth, to feed, to propagate, and experience their divinity in physical form. There’s a sacred understanding on the earth that all biological forms support this eternal flow — the Gaia expression of God.

How we choose to honor this blessed body can support this gift of life. We can see it as an obstacle to our happiness, or as a tool to our awakening. It’s a beautiful thing to be alive, and even to realize that this body is temporary. This body is an experience that we’ll only have once. Love this body that you chose. Care for it. Honor its life and feel into its gifts.

The intelligence of the body is the most powerful tool you’ll have in this cycle of life. To awaken to its power may seem miraculous to the human mind, but it’s the most natural aspect of earthly creation. You are, already, every miracle.

Happiness, pleasure, and LOVE are not some logical contemplation of the mind that require thinking in order to manifest. Our desires are ingrained within us; the things we love and enjoy are part of our divine blueprint. If you’re overthinking what makes you happy, then are you choosing happiness? If you’re trying to seek balance between “fun” and “duty,” then where is your heart in the equation? I don’t believe we’re here to go through the motions until we die. I believe we’re here to experience a miracle of consciousness in physical form — and with that we are able to have sensory experiences and opportunities that give us an experience of LIFE.

One of the reasons that I’m so passionate about yoga is that it lets me tap into the physical aspect of self that unlocks infinite amounts of cosmic information. We have a consciousness and a divine energy that can unlock DNA and transform through belief and intention. We are creators of our own potential. Through the body, we learn how miracles are possible. We learn how to manifest our powers. We remember how incredible this experience of FEELING can be. And with a lot of intention and discipline we can learn how to achieve our wildest dreams by simply trusting the experiences and choices that light up this energetic grid and our soul’s calling.

Trust yourself. Trust the process.

Our brains are wired to a negative bias, and fear is extremely addictive. It’s a pretty normal biological behavior to want to find and fixate on the most negative outcome and then repeat the same stimulus over and over, seeking that chemical response to fear. When fear doesn’t exist in the present moment, it’s all too easy to seek it out — if not in looping negative self-talk or imagined scenarios, then seeking it online, on social media, on TV, or in conversations or arguments with the people in your life (or with strangers). But the thing about any addictive behavior is that it diminishes the subtleties of life. It keeps you separate from the bliss in the present moment. It can lead to other behaviors or choices that aren’t supporting your highest good. In this contraction, you may not see the expansion and gifts that are possible.

When the mind takes over, when it takes control, we lose our connection with the center of self. We disconnect our experience from the infinite intelligence of the heart. And we miss the wisdom from our intuition and sacred guidance system.

Our evolution as a species diminishes the need to stay in a perpetual fear state as a protection mechanism from predators or other immediate threats to survival. Our evolution in *consciousness* lets us become more aware of the inner workings of the mind (and in my belief, the connection to the true self). Often when people first begin to meditate, feelings of fear or anxiety can arise, because the mind is programmed to exist in that state. It can take time to be okay with the present moment — which is the only moment we are unable to control. The past already happened (and we know the mind loves to relive that and try to manage it), and fixation on the future is just a way of attempting to manage the outcome (i.e. control). Being in the present, as a practice, completely rewires the brain to accept moment-to-moment awareness without fear. It’s possible to transform and reprogram your entire biological system just through this practice of acceptance and through consciousness of what is *actually* happening. The result? Bliss.

The average person looks at their phone more than 150 times per day. That’s proof right there of how much the mind relies on external feedback. I’m not saying it’s necessarily bad to evolve and adapt to technology (although I do have my preferences), but we can take that awareness of the need for biochemical stimuli and bring it to the seat of consciousness. What is ACTUALLY happening in this moment? What are the gifts in this moment? What am I feeling? What am I desiring? What will make me happy? What stories are looping in my mind? Are they true?

Because there’s a lot to love about this life. ❤️

The biggest moments and transformations in life often involve a death. When something new is born, it rises from the ashes of old — a change, a different life, an opening, an awakening, a new perspective.

We can’t be afraid of death — the big D and the little deaths. It’s all a part of living. It’s around every corner. When we fear death... when we fear change, we stop ourselves from living. We contract the life force, we hold ourselves back, we make unaligned choices, we resist something that could be absolutely amazing. Sometimes I reflect on how absolutely blessed I feel to have what I have, and I remember what I had to walk away from to get there. And I KNOW that all of it could change, in any moment, and that’s okay. It’s something every one of us will experience as a human — both the joys and the sorrows. But the anticipation of death doesn’t have to manage LIFE. It can be a catalyst to live the best life possible.

I remember my first awakening, the first time I really had to face death in the face, and the terror I felt in every moment. Panic attacks, contractions, phobias, debilitating anxiety, health problems, addictive behavior... all symptoms of the resistance to change. When I allowed the change to happen, I had to face the truth that all of my old beliefs were dying. My mind didn’t want ANY of that. (The mind likes consistency.) But I realized that my old beliefs weren’t making me happy. They were simply allowing complacency and comfort to continue. The rebirth alleviated the fear and anxiety, but it was a process. And then I experienced another awakening, and another one, and another one... each time requiring a death, but by then it wasn’t so scary. Getting your reality shattered can be an adventure (especially when you realize reality is an illusion, but that’s the next level).

The best part is, with every awakening I become more powerful in my ability to create my own beliefs and my own circumstances. (It’s mind-bending magic!) I can let death be a teacher, not an enemy. I can flow with the energy of what’s possible instead of resisting the change.

Because anything is possible in life. It’s yours to create. It’s yours to live.