The ego wants it all.
Validation.
Approval.
Sacrifice.
Suffering as proof of worthiness.
But the heart knows,
Love doesn’t ask for these things.
Underneath it all,
This human suit we wear,
The choices we make,
And the responsibilities we carry,
The energy of Love is eternal.
It already exists without asking,
Without changing anything.
And there it will remain,
From searching to recognition,
Separation to union,
Awareness to devotion,
And the infinite space.
There we are.

Life isn’t always a straight line.
Nothing is black and white,
This or that,
Right or wrong,
Choose or be chosen.
We will never know how many galaxies there are,
Because it’s infinite.
And so are our choices,
Our opportunities...
We are living them all at once.
And so you can wait for the straight line,
The one thing,
The right decision,
The steady direction,
The ultimate purpose...
It’s a powerful way to serve.
But some of us can never be the one thing.
Choices and opportunities are ever present.
Energy is in constant flow.
Soul connections around every corner.
Sometimes dharma is a gift, not a line.
Some of us are here to plant many seeds,
To be the air and carry them in multiple directions.
To expand,
Create possibilities,
New ideas,
And light the flame of inspiration.
Don’t worry if it feels like you’re always searching,
Because that might be how you serve.
You can wait...
Or you can walk away.
You don’t have to follow an ultimatum.
You can let go as easily as you daydream.
And change your mind at any point,
Before you become stuck.
Before you surrender your power.
Before you choose duty...
Over love.
But don’t wait for it.
BE it.
And let it flow.

Every breath signals a beginning and an end.
Every song and spoken word creates universes.
Every decision reverberates through dimensions of time.
Every time you open your eyes, you create a new story.
It’s all so simple, yet expansive beyond your wildest dreams.
It’s all so unknown, yet you are the creator.
Of time, of life, of love,
The far-reaching galaxies of your imagination.
The answers you seek are the questions you create.
You are intelligent design.

Autumn sings her hymns of letting go.
Let it go, the leaves whisper
as they transform and release
effortlessly into the ground.
Let it go, shout the voices from my past.
Let it go, begs my karmic path.

And there were times when I let go,
instead of speaking for my truth.
There were times letting go trapped
me in a cycle of complacency.
Rather than fight for what I wanted
or how I felt,
I let it go.
When I asserted boundaries and they
backfired, I surrendered.
I let go of my ego.
I let go of my voice.
I let go of my worth.

And now I know that harmony
doesn’t mean surrender.
It doesn’t mean settling, enduring.
It doesn’t compromise or accept
duty over love.
I know that wanting something happens
for a reason. To teach me
that I’m worthy enough to receive it.
And when doubt stands in the way,
tries to convince me that I’m better off,
or that I should give up,
I let doubt go.

Resting in the silence,
attention pulled by memories.
Emotions follow energy,
energy attached to words.
The silence becomes a story.
The story becomes a memory.
Until I can’t tell one from the other.
Maybe there are some lessons
I’m not supposed to master.
Never knowing if it’s ego, desire,
conditioning, fate, or karma
that keeps me from the course.
So can I resist the pull,
or let it teach me?
We can’t really regret
unless we try.
And we can’t know ecstasy
until we let go.

We always ask,
What do you want?
What’s stopping you?
But the real question is,
Can you handle what you want?
Are you willing to invite change,
or are you satisfied with wanting?
Does longing make life less boring?
Do you want things to feel out of reach?
Does it fuel your day?
Have the daydreams become addictive?
Do you wait for the “hit” of possibility
to get your cortisol rush?
What have you boxed inside
under the guise of obligation?
What have you pushed away,
gambling with the possibility
that it may never come back?
The hardest questions are those
that get to the truth.
So can you handle what you want?
Can your nervous system accept joy?
Can your heart accept love?
Can your mind accept change?
Can your ego accept the possibility
that maybe everything you’ve ever wanted
has been in front of you all along?

Drums beating,
Fires roaring,
Golden skin and bright eyes.
She dances in the meadow,
Communes with the butterflies,
Moves to the sway of light.

I am yours, she tells the sun.
Always have been,
Always will be.
I’ll let your wisdom guide me.
Just meet me here,
For a moment.

She lays in the thick, warm grass,
Remembering times long ago,
When she and the sun were one.
When they promised to return,
In cycles and lifetimes,
Lessons in light.

The sounds of summer vibrate,
The earth bathed in beauty,
And in this space of light, she sings.
Her voice echoing
In the tallest mountains,
In the deepest oceans.

The clouds disappear,
And the sun beams,
As bright as his undying love.
Keep singing, he says.
When you sing, you call to me.
When you sing, you call to God.

Will you meet me here, she asks,
For just a moment?
In this space,
In this love,
In this vibration,
Let me hear your voice.

But rather than wait,
She dances.
In the meadow,
At the river,
With the butterflies,
By the trees.

And the sun watches
From his highest height.
Giving her longer days
Of warmth and energy.
Drums beating,
Fires roaring,
She dances, she sings
A love song to the sun.

Oh, winter...⁣
What golden waves of color you paint,⁣
Barely lighting the ground with your dusky rays.⁣
The way widens, so I keep my eyes open,⁣
Lest everything change and die⁣
⁣
My days are spent seeking shelter from old stories.⁣
Holding a lantern to those who need a light⁣
Through hardened ground and clearer paths through the trees,⁣
Air so light it electrifies my veins.⁣
⁣
Oh, winter...⁣
Everything has changed⁣
And everything stays the same,⁣
In this life and the next.⁣
But all I can do is stay silent and wait.⁣
I’ve done all that I can do.⁣
⁣
Yet I work to make my lantern brighter.⁣
In guiding the way, I always find the sun⁣
And winter’s milky golden glow,⁣
Just warm enough to soften the heart in eclipses’ chill.⁣
Keeping eyes open,⁣
Stronger every day,⁣
And waiting still.

Like Persephone, I feel the icy grip of Hades’ hand,
Turning meadow flowers into cold wet leaves and darkness.
Fragments of memories dust the land with white.
Solar plexus aching for summer’s laughter.

Is there beauty here in this new land?
The silence offers healing and softness,
A possibility of rebirth,
With a heart freshly hardened to the past.

But in these first days, my hands grip the frozen crevice longing for warmth.
The Sun has forgotten about me.

Hades breathes his winter chill into my eyes,
Turning them frosty grey.
“You forget yourself.”
“Yes.”

And so I leave them all behind,
Rejection, disappointment, empty words,
Like crisp snakeskin shattered by the frost.

Thick mists between time swallow the longing.
Deep breaths.
A new cycle, another skin,
Harder and more resilient this time,
With an eternal flame of my own making.

Photo by Paperlens Photography

What is real?

For me, it’s the stillness of the forest.
My feet on the cool earth.
Stacking firewood, washing windows, harvesting tomatoes.
It’s the sensation of my body in motion.
The intensity of breathing.
The way the sky always changes its colors and shapes.
Waves of emotion and memories.
Laughing with a friend.
The warmth of my bed.
Raindrops on my skin.
The smell of books.
Pure joy just for being alive.

No one else can tell me what’s real.
I am free.
The louder the noise and distraction, the less I will pay attention.
Because the stars are out.
The owls are singing.
And I’m running barefoot through the grass.