Shadow work is a difficult topic to write about. The Fall Equinox, also known as Mabon, on September 22 marks the beginning of the most beautiful time of the year in New England, but we have to start welcoming in the dark. Immediately after the equinox, night will be longer than day. Nature will get quiet.

The dark half of the year is naturally a time of rest and introversion. During this time, our bodies are designed to slow down and hibernate, go within, and plan – rather than act. However, our modern society isn’t designed that way. School begins. Work gets busier. Holidays approach. We go against our natural cycles and create undue stress on our systems. It’s no surprise that many people feel increased anxiety and tiredness this time of the year.

There is also a natural avoidance to pause and look within. I have found that one of my shadow avoidance mechanisms is constant busy-ness. And we all do it in different ways. Internal reflection is one of the most difficult tasks we can do as human beings. It is one of the reasons why yoga and meditation can be so difficult. Yoga is a powerful tool for clearing and releasing stuck energy patterns in the body, and meditation asks you to sit with thoughts and shadow elements that seem easier to avoid.

All of us have shadow elements (yes, all of us) that need to be identified and integrated in order for us to evolve as a person. I believe it was Carl Jung who defined the shadow or shadow elements as unconscious parts of ourself that the ego does not want to acknowledge or "make conscious." Many people choose to repress or ignore their shadow, and end up projecting it onto other people or allowing it to fester in unhealthy ways. There is a great quote that says, “Everything we judge in others is something within ourselves we don’t want to face.” When you think about it, this happens all of the time – and it's so easy in our modern age of social media. 

As a personal example, one of my shadow elements is impatience. That may sound minor, but impatience can result in rushed decisions, boredom, needing to control situations, not giving people a chance, and missing the moment. I have seen people take impatience to extreme levels. However, by identifying the shadow, I can be aware and notice when it occurs and use it as teaching tool and a guide for decision-making. This is one of the reasons why practices like yin and restorative yoga are so profound for me. They challenge me to be in the moment and be a witness rather than wait for the next thing. I can also transmute the shadow for my benefit. I can use impatience to motivate me to create positive action, begin adventures, discover new things, or inspire others. Simply becoming conscious of your shadow, and learning how to integrate and transmute it, can be an incredibly freeing experience.

I believe we are all here for an important reason, and it’s possible to become aware and LOVE the shadow along with the light. We can use the energies of this season to support us. Yoga and meditation, for example, are completely transformative tools for allowing us to see and connect with a state of mind/heart/being that lifts us from the denseness of day-to-day. So when it gets dark, and things feel heavy, and the breath gets shallow – challenge yourself to resist natural avoidance and embrace the tools that are available to you. I will join you in this challenge. :)

And please, make space for rest and self-care. The way I do this, even when it seems impossible, is prioritizing that which nourishes me FIRST, and fitting in everything else second. The next month is a great time to travel, find beauty, create beauty, and prepare your home for months of spending more time indoors. Then the natural cycle becomes restful. Dormant. Reflective. Add a five-minute meditation practice. Start a journal. Give yourself an extra 30 minutes of sleep. Take a nap. Find a new craft. Start a reading hour with your kids. Sit down to dinner with your loved ones. Institute a no-device weekend. Make a list of books to read. Take lunch breaks at work. Drink tea at 3 p.m.  

When you start to feel negative about the darkness, just remind yourself that you NEED this rest. Going within and creating space is essential for the work ahead. How can you make space for yourself when things get quiet?

So I have a confession. I don’t like it when people tell me what to do. It’s a shadow aspect I uncovered a couple of years ago that I realize drives much of my decision-making. On the positive side, I have a great deal of faith in my own judgement and knowledge. On the negative side, it can keep me closed off to ideas/actions/pursuits that may be of benefit.

For example, a teacher of mine has been strongly advocating the benefits of consuming apple cider vinegar daily as part of a dietary practice. My initial reactions were: (1) That idea doesn’t sound good to me. (2) Just because something is trendy doesn’t mean it’s good for everyone. (3) They’re not addressing potential harmful effects. (4) My PH level is fine. (5) If I lose any weight, I’ll disappear. (6) I don’t see enough Ayurvedic science to support that practice.

You get the hint, right?

A few months later after researching stress response mechanisms in the human body, I suddenly had a brilliant idea. I should try that whole apple cider vinegar thing.

Lo and behold, it completely changed the physical ways my body handles stress. My eating habits have improved, my skin cleared up, and people have remarked that I look radiant. Who knew?

So when I began to think about introducing the Niyamas, which are practices or paths to attain a healthy spiritual practice, my inner rebel immediately went, “Well I don’t have to practice some ancient disciplines to be spiritual. I’m doing fine on my own.” But the reality is, these five observances have been critical building blocks throughout my entire study and practice of yoga. Whether we realize it or not, the Niyamas make up the fabric of yoga.

The five Niyamas, the second limb, as outlined in Patanjali's Yoga Sutras are:

• Saucha: Purity or cleanliness
• Santosha: Contentment
• Tapas: Discipline, drive
• Svadhyaya: Study, including of the self
• Ishvara Pranidhana: Surrender

It probably won’t surprise you that when I was in my yoga teacher training, I discovered through an exercise that my weakest Niyama was Tapas. And my inner rebel is somewhat proud and wants to believe that I’m just a vibrant, free-spirited and completely undisciplined being. But underneath that exterior, I am in fact very disciplined when it comes to the essence of the Niyamas.

At the very core of my inner rebel’s desire to be undisciplined and make my own decisions is a deep-seated desire to be free, which to me, is the ultimate energy of spiritual realization. Because of this, I am very disciplined about maintaining a healthy, fit, and clean body (Saucha), because an unhealthy body impacts my freedom. I am very disciplined about creating my own reality and doing what makes me happy (Santosha), because to be unhappy wouldn’t be free. I am very disciplined and rigorous about gaining new knowledge and delving deep into new areas of self-study and existential inquiry (Svadhyaya), because to me, wisdom and an open mind lead to freedom. And I also believe in divine energy -- and that we are all a part of it. To feel that energy and attain realization and freedom (to me) means surrender (Ishvara Pranidhana).

When you dive into your self-study to look at your core desire, it may not be freedom. It could be love or beauty or perfect health or partnership or joy or comfort or power… or any number of things. However, I bet when you look at your habits and disciplines in the context of the Niyamas, you will see that these practices will lead you to your core desires and truth. I believe yoga can take you there.

Newsflash: I love yoga. Surprising, isn’t it? :)

But for me, yoga is much more than a physical practice. In Western culture, our path to yogic studies typically begins with postures, or asana, which tones and clears our physical body. It was the first thing I practiced, since I personally didn’t know anything else until the resonance of the postures brought me to deeper study. The practice changed me on such a profound level, that I felt an enormous responsibility to share what I learned and am still learning in a way that is accessible and understandable.

I’m fairly new to the world of Instagram (P.S. follow @yogawithmandi if you don’t already), and so far I’ve seen a lot of amazing yogis sharing their feats of strength and balance. Yoga has permeated our culture so quickly and with such vigor. It’s everywhere. And this is wonderful to witness, but I often wonder: What I can offer as a teacher that is new and informative to practitioners? Will students of yoga benefit from seeing me in postures? Maybe… in an aspirational way. But when I reflect and inquire as to how I can offer something deeper, the answer is clear: “Be a witness to what you know.” So, in hopes of offering inspiration to deeper study, I’m going to spend the next eight weeks musing and sharing my insight on the 8 Limbs of yoga. I hope you enjoy.

Please note: this is my personal insight based on my experience and intuition. I invite you to study the Sutras to develop your own understanding based on your unique practice.

Eight Limbs is a translation of the word “ashtanga,” introduced in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras as the eightfold path. The 8 Limbs (and I’m going to use the numerical 8 instead of “eight,” because it looks better) serve as guidelines to the yogic path -- and ways in which we can enrich our lives, raise our consciousness, be our best selves, and become a witness to our purpose. According to many interpretations, a master of yoga will be someone who lives and embodies the ashtanga.

Today’s post will focus on the first limb: the five Yamas, or restraints. The Yamas are structured around a sense of morality and choice, and by restraining that which doesn’t serve, we can become a better vessel to the many benefits of a yoga practice. Many interpretations of the 8 Limbs will tell you that they should be mastered in order, so in using this guideline, you would master Yamas first, before moving onto the next limb, the Niyamas.

The five Yamas and their rough translations are as follows:

• Ahimsa: Non-violence
• Satya: Truthfulness
• Asteya: Non-stealing
• Brahmacharya: Effective use of energy 
• Aparigraha: Non-grasping

I could write 10 pages on each of these Yamas and how I interpret them, but for now I’m going to focus on one in particular, Ahimsa. Why Ahimsa? In my view, if you master Ahimsa, you master all of the Yamas.

To be non-violent, you are making the effort to act and live your life in a way that does not cause harm to yourself or others. If you live in a way that causes no harm, you are truthful (Satya) because to be deceitful would cause harm. If you live in a way that causes no harm, you won’t steal or covet (Asteya), because to do so would cause harm. If you live in a way that causes no harm, you have learned to use your energy effectively (Brahmacharya) and release unhelpful attachments (Aparigraha), because otherwise you’re not living out of a place of love and compassion. I believe that true mastery of the Yamas means that you are making choices and actions that come from a place of love, and, to the best of your knowledge, cause no harm to yourself or others.

As you’ve probably noticed, some interpretations of the Yamas tend to create controversy. For example, many people believe that in order to master Ahimsa, you must be a vegetarian or maintain a plant-based diet, because otherwise, you’re causing harm to animals. I will put it out there right now: I do not eat a solely plant-based diet, nor do I believe it’s my place to advise others on what to eat. My study of Ayurveda has shown me that some people need to consume some sort of animal protein to maintain health. Additionally, I happen to believe that plants also have a consciousness, and research indicates they feel pain, and perhaps emotion, as much as sentient beings.

However, there are ways to practice Ahimsa in how you eat. Ask yourself, is the food you’re eating causing harm to your body? Is it nourishing? Was the food created in a compassionate way? These questions are just as relevant if you’re eating plants. The high demand for kale and avocados, for example, is wreaking havoc on our environment, and some people have actually experienced poor health as a result of too much kale. As well, it is very common for people to experience negative health effects as a result of eating too much meat, mercury-containing seafood, and especially processed or genetically modified foods. And we all know about the inhumane and unhealthy consequences of factory meat production.

If I’m starting to sound preachy, please know that I am far from perfect in this practice. There are certain things I won’t eat or drink for compassionate reasons, such as chicken, soda, and anything with sucralose, and I tend to stay away from red meat, processed foods, and liquor. (If you want to know more about this, feel free to contact me.) However, I love pizza and just thinking about it makes me hungry as I eat my locally grown blueberries. I also realize that it’s impossible to know (most of the time) where restaurant food is sourced from. (And let’s face it, eating out is near the top of my list of favorite things.)

My point in this tangent is that you don’t need to adhere to a strict diet to be a yogi. You don’t need to be celibate to be a yogi. You don’t need to give up all of your possessions to be a yogi. But what you can begin to practice is witnessing your actions, behaviors, or choices to see if they originate from a place of love. Witness whether the intent could harm (to the best of your knowledge) yourself or anyone else.  And have compassion for yourself. We are not perfect in our disciplines. We’re just trying our best.

If you have any questions about any of the Yamas or their interpretations, feel free to contact me for more information.

We have a full moon in Aquarius, with a partial Lunar Eclipse from the Sun in Leo on Monday, August 7, at approximately 2:11 p.m. EST (11:11 a.m. PT!!). People have been asking me what this means and what we should expect, and honestly it's difficult for me to read. I've been hearing quite a bit about this "epic" eclipse season with drastic impending change on the horizon. The sabian symbol for the degree of the full moon (16' Aquarius) is "A big businessman at his desk," which of course gets everyone speculating about U.S. politics. But here's a concise lesson on eclipse energy in general: Things are not always what they seem.

Aquarius is the great awakener and rebel. He is the one voicing his protests the loudest, uncovering hidden truth, and arguing against everyone just for the sake of it. He often sees beyond the rose-colored glasses to what may be underneath the surface. But when you add eclipse energy to the mix, it may be a revolution for an unclear cause. Yes, eclipse energy can "uncover" things or bring new ideas to light, but it can also steer your gaze away from what is truly important, and the result can be the opposite of what you expect.

If you're hoping to read something about how this affects the U.S. political system, you're in the wrong place. (My interest and energy simply doesn't go there.) What I can tell you is that I've noticed a greater shift in where attention is flowing. People have been "tuning out" the mundane and letting their attentions explore higher forms of knowledge and mastery. I believe there's a significant duality that's occurring, with people becoming more curious and receptive to new ideas (Aquarius) -- creating anger and resistance from those who want to defend the status quo. You may notice this anger getting stronger and louder throughout the month as we approach the Solar Eclipse in Leo on August 21.

This duality of curiosity and resistance can be related to anything. It could be resistance in the workplace, home, school, even your own thoughts. You may experience a sudden change in perspective, living situation, or relationship that forces you to see things differently. This is designed to help you open your mind and heart to a greater purpose.

And if you find yourself on the side of resistance, BE VERY CAREFUL before reacting in anger to any normal triggers.

Things are not always what they seem.

Last night I hosted a Lughnasadh workshop at Central Mass Yoga & Wellness and provided an overview of the meaning and background of Lughnasadh (the official first harvest), as well as common rituals and traditions. For more information about Lughnasadh, known as Lammas in Anglo-Saxon cultures, visit my Wheel of the Year page.

Following up with this class and practice, I wanted to provide the wider community some ideas and ways to create your own ritual to celebrate this important Celtic holiday. Lughnasadh provides such an important window of culmination, space for gratitude, and an opportunity to focus on how you plan to use this remaining time of light. The holiday is officially today (August 1), but you can celebrate until the full moon on August 7. 

For your personal yoga practice, I highly recommend yoga poses and movements that help cultivate your intuition. Try some dynamic movements in a seated position or in cat/cow with your eyes closed and just feel where Prana takes you. Try a mountain pose with your eyes closed and feel how your body's rhythm creates subtle waves of movement. Take longer pauses in between your yoga postures to feel the effects of energy moving through your body. Now that we are turning to the western side of the Wheel of the Year, it is a wonderful time to work with the third eye and the gifts of knowledge and seeing. 

Some other ritual ideas include:

• Lammas Dolly: Crafting a doll, wheel, wreath, or some other shape out of wheat, grass, weeds, etc., to save or display for the next six months as a symbol of your personal harvest.
• Baking: This is very traditional way to use your harvest to create something new, symbolizing rebirth and new life.
• Hillwalking: A Celtic spiritual practice of solitary walking outside in nature (doesn't have to be on a hill).
• Feasting: Gathering friends and family to enjoy the edible fruits of your harvest.
• Picnic: Packing a meal to enjoy outside in nature.
• Gratitude: Journaling, meditating, and reflecting on the things in your life you've created or received.
• Philanthropy: Giving back to others via a service, donation, or your time.

I've also crafted some journal prompts to help you reflect and remember all that you've accomplished.

• What is one thing (big or small) you can do to accomplish your wishes or goals?
• Name one accomplishment from the past six months for which you are grateful.
• Name one major accomplishment in your life for which you are grateful.
• What is one way you can give back to those less fortunate?
• What is one way you can celebrate your personal harvest?
• What is one gift you can give yourself?
• Name one way you can cultivate your intuition in the next six months.

Celebrate and honor all that you've cultivated this year, and weed out or let go that which doesn't help you achieve your ultimate goals. Feel free to tag me on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter to let me know how you are honoring yourself and Lughnasadh. 

Book recommendations to learn more about the Wheel of the Year

(I have many books on this topic that I love and reference. These are just a few.)

Click on the images to learn more.

My name is Mandi Garrison and I care about what people think of me. While it’s true that I’m quirky, I tend to rebel against what people want or expect, and I make my own decisions on my own timelines — all of that comes from a subconscious desire to successfully integrate with other humans. If I tried to mold myself in a different way to “fit in,” I would fail terribly and become a social outcast. It’s just not in my DNA.

And even though I may preach against domestication and societal norms, in reality, I care very deeply whether people value my contributions and understand my perspective. In fact, often the people who shout from the rooftops, “I DON’T CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS,” actually are the ones who care very deeply, perhaps more than most. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. We are biologically created to connect, coexist, and help one another. Caring deeply about what other people think is an empathic trait that helps us find meaningful connection and evolve. Sensitivity is a beautiful gift.

The issue comes when we try to shut that part of us down. Rather than admit, “this is me, and I care about how you see me,” sensitive, empathic people may wind up in one or more of the following scenarios:

1. Insist that we don’t care and become aggressive, impatient, or defensive when challenged.
2. Create stories or misleading scenarios to develop the image we want others to see. In the world of social media, we can become so attached to our public image that we start to act like everyone is watching.
3. Make decisions based on others’ expectations, and forget what we really want. This ultimately leads to unhappiness or a crisis in purpose.
   (I have been guilty of this and often catch myself. Do I want this thing, or do I want the recognition of this thing? Did I make the choice that I wanted, or was it the choice that was expected?)
4. Are unable to change to please others, and so for fear of being embarrassed, shut down or become secluded.
   (I have been guilty of this many times.)
5. Create stories or projections about other people based on assumptions or imagined hurts and endanger meaningful relationships.

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz touches on this in a powerful way. "The impact of other people’s opinions and reactions to us became a very strong force in the habits we created. In this process we created agreements in our mind of who we should be, what we shouldn’t be, who we were, and who we were not. Over time we learned to live our life based on the agreements in our own mind. We learned to live according to the agreements that came from the opinion of others. In this process of domestication it turns out that the choices we make and the life we live is more driven by the opinions we learned from others than one we would choose on our own."

All of these scenarios have one thing in common: it can make us drift away from self-love.

Love who you are. We are all intelligently designed, beautiful and amazing individuals with our own unique blueprint. How cool is that? Every one of us is different and unique. I find that so amazing. Yes, it’s important and normal to relate to the experiences of others, but we are different. And that is cool.

So what makes you different? Forget for a moment about what you want other people to know or read or see. What makes you YOU?

Have you ever just spent time with yourself? One of the most beautiful practices is spending time just hanging out with yourself. Do the things you want to do. Try not to “check out” with the television or cellphone, just simply sit with your own thoughts and emotions. Remember who you are, your best moments, the things you like to do, a conversation with someone that touched you, something that made you laugh, a moment when you felt like someone understood you. These things help bring you back to yourself.

There are some clues to help you if you get stuck. For example, have you ever fallen in love? I truly believe when we drift away from ourselves, we suddenly fall in love with someone or something that offers us a clue as to what we truly desire. It is one of the Universe’s mysterious ways of getting us back on track. Have you ever experienced incredible anxiety or unhappiness for no apparent reason? That can offer us clues as to what we don’t want. In the book, Finding Your Own North Star, Martha Beck writes about how people tend to get sick often when they are trapped in a job, situation, etc., that is out of alignment with who they are and what they want.

I also believe that as a species, we are becoming more open and aware to what we are, where we come from, and how we are unique. It’s okay to be different. Be okay with being different. Love being different. Love YOU.

My name is Mandi Garrison, and I care about what people think of me, but I will never change who I am. I'm okay with being different.

What about you?

Book Recommendations

Let go. Release. Trust.

This is not the blog post I was intending to write this weekend, but the Capricorn full moon knocked it into me. We are in the energies of the first harvest, with Lughnasadh approaching at the end of the month, and it’s time to observe the fruits of our labor. YES, this is a happy time. YES, we can celebrate the bounty we created over the growing months. As the earth grows, so do we. However, what I’m sensing in the field is an overall feeling of disappointment and anxiety that things are not exactly moving the way we want, and the days are already getting shorter.

When this happens, we tend to shift to self-doubt, blame, envy, and an overall feeling of negativity. We feel heavier and stuck in outdated routines and with a lack of energy. We project onto other people the insecurities we see in ourselves. If this is resonating for you, I invite you to stop, take a deep breath, and release those expectations for a moment. The Universe will allow your purpose to unfold in the right time, and for the highest good of all. There is no need to let yourself sink into blame.

If, on the other hand, you feel accomplished and are excited to see your own personal harvest, then YES. Take a deep breath and for a moment exhale that joy into the field. Let go into what you’ve accomplished and release into this moment of celebration.  

One of my teaching influences, Elena Brower, writes in her book Art of Attention, “Can you hold yourself, and place your attention ‘in front of’ what is currently happening instead of what has already happened?” She also quotes Jeanne de Salzmann, author of The Reality of Being, who writes, “Can I be more active, more present, more attentive to what is really happening rather than to my memories or projections?”

If you allow yourself to sit within your truth and observe what is happening, you will see that there is a powerful opportunity to take action and manifest. Blame, self-doubt, and negativity are tools Resistance uses to take you off of your path. As we approach the first harvest and the harvests to come, what actions, big or small, can you take to work towards your ultimate goal? Can you release expectations for the final outcome and simply work to achieve what you want, essentially letting go into the workings of nature and the Universe? Can you TRUST?

The Capricorn full moon is a reality check to remind us that there is still work to do. It may feel difficult and unwelcome to have a light shine on the areas where we fell behind, but if we can LET GO of the pressure and expectation to be perfect, then we can still manifest the heck out of the rest of the growing season. Let go. Release. Trust.

Book Recommendations

I have seen so many phoenix references lately that I felt compelled to write about it. First of all, what a beautiful metaphor for this Solstice season! It’s always amazing to me how these parallels emerge naturally from the energy of the time. The Solstice is all about transformation, because life is emerging from the earth where there once was death.

The mythical phoenix, represented in many cultures as the feminine archetype of rebirth, is a brilliant bird of fire that lived for many years before becoming dust in the earth, only to rise again from the ashes to live again. This phoenix energy is also enhanced by the Cancer new moon on June 23, which supports rebirth and new life in multiple ways. How can you use this energy of rebirth in your life? Even small beginnings embody the energy of the phoenix.

(image by MariLucia)